The Truth About Snape

Well, after waiting a while, I finally got to find out what was going on...and you know what? I've made the decision to hate every single wizard and witch out there. No I'm not being prejudice. I hate every single one of them. Equally. Some more equally than others.

Alright, that was a blatant lie and exaggeration, but my night hasn't been a very nice one. Especially not after I got this.

If I could I'd turn myself into a dark queen just so I could go and kick Voldemort's butt, usurp his throne and rule the entire world with a fluffy pink fist just so I could have things go my way.

Once again, exaggerating, but I suppose that I should be explaining the lovely night I had.

Ugh, Soundwave...if I could, I'd kiss you. You're one of the few things that are keeping me from totally snapping and trying down the road of darkness just so I can try my hand at taking over the world. I swear to god this place needs a woman running it....

Sorry, ranting again. Lets get on with today's lovely revelation. [/sarcasm]

Oh, yes. Before I forget...I thank you all for understanding William's...peculiar situation. I really appreciate it.

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It started out with a few members of the Order coming in looking worse for the wear. Haggard, really. And drawn. Mr Weasley looked like someone had killed his favorite spark plug. Moody was--forgive the pun--quite moody. Harry was livid--something that made me avoid saying anything to him at all (even to greet him). What he was so angry about made me curious, but I held my tongue until Professor McGonagall came into the house. And even then I didn't say a word. She looked tired and older than she was--and it was quite late, so I didn't want to disturb her as she walked towards the kitchen.

But then she stopped in front of me.

"Ms Shinra, I need you to come with me for a moment." she said.

"Um...what for?" I asked nervously as I rubbed my arms. I felt an urge to hold onto my son, but unfortunately for me...I didn't have him around as I usually did as I had tucked him into bed hours before. "I mean...what is it you need me for?"

"Possibly a last request..." the woman said as she began to lead me out of the headquarters. I asked if Mrs Weasley could keep an eye on William while I was away before I could let myself go. "Thank you for the information, by the way, Miss Shinra."

"Oh, don't thank me." I said, not one for taking the credit of others. "The elf lords and Rinnalaiss did all the work. I just relayed it to you all...Thought it would be important."

She nodded, continuing to walk ahead with a purpose, though her tired steps did give something away.

"So, how did the caoture go?" I asked, worried about the answer.

"Terribly."

McGonagall went on to explain about how the fake Snape that Rinnalaiss, Elrohir and Elladan had captured had escaped when the Order had just reached the scene. The main theory that the Order members that had gone to collect the indisposed Death Eaters and the fake Snape was that even though he was a fake...he obviously had an immunity to the potions that had been used on him...or, at least, a better tolerance of them so he would be able to fight them. Another theory that they had cooked up--was that there were not many fake Snapes...but one that kept flitting all over the place and who kept escaping because he had a purpose to fulfill. And, apparently, that purpose involved me.

"But what?" I asked, pondering about this. "I mean...what could he possibly want? And what do you think this has to do with the war that's going on at the moment?"

"Perhaps, You-Know-Who wanted revenge on Snape." McGonagall answered. "He, after all, defied his master in favor of helping your friends..." She smirked a little. "..or perhaps, more accurately, helping you. After all...had you not been in a relationship with him before he left?"

I blushed bright red, looking away. Even though I never really talked about it, I had said enough in the past to the Order about Severus and I...Though we had never been intimate or had done anything romantic, we did share a strange sort of connection. And then I remembered admitting to loving him some time ago and my face became even redder. I've been told that I had two conflicting sides...A Gryffindor side and a Slytherin side. The Gryffindor side was screaming for joy that I finally admitted it and my Slytherin side was berating me for not really thinking things through before I decided to plaster it all over my blog.

Oh, well. I cared for him deeply, that I can easily admit. It can become love if it so wished, but after having it pointed out to me so many times...Ugh. I wanted to make it un-true. I have this bad habit of saying the opposite of something if someone accused me of something--even if it was true.

So I found it increasingly trying on my patience when McGonagall continued to jab at me about Severus and the almost a year we had spent together before the fight against the Emperor. When it was clear to her that I wouldn't say anything, she decided to talk of something else entirely...something that happen right after they had all Apparated a few streets away from Number Twelve Grimmauld Place. Something that shouldn't have happened.

"We caught him."

"Who?"

"You know who."

I wanted to say 'And who is that exactly?', but my mind figured out what she truly meant and I had to gape. How did they manage that feat? And if that was so, where did that monumental final battle go? I fired a lot of questions at the professor as we reached the phonebooth that led straight to the Ministry. We both got in, while I still asked question after question. Our badges popped out ('Keily Shinra, Angry Young Woman, Visiting A Prisoner') and we put them on, though I had to eye mine suspiciously.

"Who am I visiting?"

"You know who."

Once again, the stupid question wanted to be asked, but I pushed it at the back of my mind and tried to either think terrifying thoughts or...not so terrifying thoughts. I wanted to think them, because I was too calm for my own good. I mean, it's Voldemort for crying out loud. And then I didn't want to get scared, because if I did...I might give the man some sort of an edge against me.

"Why?"

"He's been sentenced to death without a trial. His execution is within one month's time tonight...And his last wish was to see you." At this point, she wouldn't look at me as we had our things checked. The old woman almost seemed guilty about something and I couldn't fathom what it was. Another thing I didn't understand was why Voldemort would want to see me. After what I did to him and his hideout last month...you'd think he would stay as far away from me as possible. But possibly he wants to spit a vengeful curse at me for helping turn his favorite against him? For helping ruin his plans for domination over our world? Who knew?

I had forgotten what floor we had stopped at, but I was told that we were being sent to a special holding cell until he was properly processed and sent to Azkaban--or wherevr wizarding criminals were sent to nowadays.

I wish someone could have gotten me better prepared for what was about to happen. I wish someone could have explained better than McGonagall had so I wouldn't be so surprised...

...so I didn't have to start crying like a total ninny in front of several Aurors. God, I seem to be crying a lot lately...

They didn't let me go into the cell itself, but I was able to reach inside through the bars--not that I did...not at first. I just approached the cell cautiously, wary of the person that it held. I didn't get a good look at Voldemort when I had bene kidnapped by him last month...not that I had wanted to, but here I was...and I had to look at him. I vaguely wondered if they had given him Veritaserum to wrangle some sort of truth out of him...

I watched him look up at me with those red eyes--red eyes as dark as blood. His nostrils flared slightly as he breathed, a most disgusting and rather reptilish thing. I looked at his face which looked stern, frightening...angular and no holding any of the handsome qualities his mother had wished upon him....the loks of his father...

Not feeling anything at the moment, I moved to ask him what he wanted when he said my name.

"Keily."

His voice was high, as it was described in the books...And it made me shiver a bit. But the way he said my name. It was almost familiar...No, it was very familiar. It had that slight lilt to it...said in a way only one person knew how.

I shook my head. It couldn't be. But then again, my gut feeling hadn't been wrong so far. Could it be now? I looked to McGonagall, questioning her silently. 'What's going on?'

She gave me a stare. "I told you we caught, you know who."

I shook my head in denial. I closed my eyes and calpped my hands over my ears, trying to block it out. It couldn't be what I was thinking, could it? No. My heart was just getting its hopes up! It was going to shatter...

"Keily.."

I whirled around, staring angrily at the snake man who had come to the bars, staring down at me calmly with just a twinge of...remorse? Was that what it was?

Hot tears began to form in my eyes and fell.

"You can't be..." I whispered.

Voldemort--no, Severus gave a small smirk. "It seems...that the late Emperor...had managed to teach the Dark Lord a few tricks in exchange for his support." He reached out to touch my cheek, but I jerked away--hardly believing what was going on at the moment. I shook my head again. This was not happening, I told myself many times. My life was just one long series of unfortunate events...could they ever be happy again? "Keily...look at me...Look at me!" He tried to turn my head, hold my chin--anything to look at him, but I couldn't.

"Oh, god...what did he do to you...?" I asked quietly, still in denial, now with a mixture of shock and paranoia.

One would think that we would have been reunited in a romantic sort of way--and I, in all honesty, had been hoping for the same sort of thing...If only to stop the torrent of terrible things that seem to be happening all around me.

He smiled gently and tried to caress my hair. Funny how that in his own body, he wouldn't dare touch me, but now that he's stuck inside a body that resembles a snake or a corpse...he's doing all he can to be near me...to calm me down. "What does it look like?" he asked, a little sharply. "He's switched bodies with me..."

"But why?" I asked, beginning to choke in tears. I couldn't believe that this was happening--of all things to add on top of everything else!

He explained about how he had been captured by Death Eater's and had his soul switched with Voldemort's. He told me about how he planned revenge against him for ruining his grand plans. He told me about how he was going to use the switch to keep himself alive...how he was going to use 'love' as his own weapon as well. Severus--ye gods, ho I missed saying that name--said that by switching bodies that the Dark Lord would send him to fight against Harry, where Severus would get killed and the Dark Lord could lay low, while doing his best to woo me ('And failed at.' I said to Severus. 'Do I have a 'desperate' sign on me, or something?') so he could use my love at a later time. Voldemort had planned on using me as a human shield against any enemies that would try to destroy him.

"You have to admit...I heard stories about your fights against his Death Eaters when you escaped...and what you did on Mustafar? You have a lot of repressed rage, don't you?" Severus said, smirking with that face I was so unfamiliar with.

"So, what...was he planning to have me die like Lily did for Harry?" I asked, hoping that that wasn't the case. That would be too strange if it was. Severus shrugged.

"I'm not very sure, but it might be." he said. "And he had been hoping to have me die in his place by Potter's wand and thus...'fullfilling' the prophecy so he could catch the Wizarding World unawares and in a new body..." Severus looked bitter at this, but soon that bitterness changed to slightly disinterested concern. "Obviously...his plan had failed for I escaped and you're not with him..."

I shuddered. And to think...I had let him touch William! My eyes widened. "Anna!"

Severus looked taken aback. "Anna?" I flushed with embarrassment and quickly explained about William's little sister.

"You don't think he had any ideas for either William or Anna do you?" I asked.

"I wouldn't put it past him...especially with his new abilities...I suppose he's found his own way to immortality now..."

This was bad. This was really bad. It had been bad enough with the Emperor doing it, but Voldemort, too? And the one he had tested it on...well...I sniffled and shyly reached towards him. I brushed against a cool cheek with my fingers, wondering. Then I let my hand cup his cheek and stared straight into his eyes. I am not a Legilimens or an Occulomens, but I saw how earnest he was...I saw who he really was inside the form of this terrible man....

I gave a sigh as a tear fell.

"You know...if stuff like this keeps happening...I'm going to think myself important." I told him, my voice shaking a little. I closed my eyes, feeling more tears fall. I took deep calming breaths.

Gods, I felt like such a sap.

"Um...Severus..I've been meaning to tell you...It's something I have to say or I might never be able to tell you...what with you being executed...Oh, god...They're really going to kill you, aren't they? I mean....they can't have you Kissed, luckily...But you still have to die and they probably won't even give you a fair trial and...and...and...I..I..."

He stopped my mumblings with a finger to my lips as Professor McGonagall and one of the Aurors who was guarding the cell said that it was time for me to leave. I didn't want to go and I made a terrible scene about it. I had to tell Severus something. I had to do something...anything.

Severus was going to die in a month. A month. I had to tell him....Tell him about William! Th truth about William...The truth about...

"Severus, I..."

He stopped me again.

"I know."

As I had managed to get to the bars of the cell, he pulled me close and I almost expected a kiss from him...But no. He just held me tightly. As I was pulled away, I felt the weight of something in my pocket. Only after being unceremoniously booted out of the Ministry and told that visiting hours are such and such, did I check what had been dropped into it.

I cursed myself, Dumbledore, Voldemort and Severus.

"So...what will you do now, Miss Shinra?" McGonagall asked as we began the trek back...'home'.

I stared at the little thing that had been given to me. I looked head of me, lips pursed into a thin line. "First," I said, "I'll get my act together. Then I am going to bring back the not-quite-a-Sith-apprentice back so she can help you fight against Voldemort. That bastard's going to pay for what he's just done!"

"Oh?" McGonagall looked at me, seemingly intrigued by my rather silly sounding proclamation. "No more weeping then? No more sitting on the sidelines?"

I shook my head. The woman smiled.

"Well, then, Miss Shinra...I do believe that things are beginning to look up."

Keily's Chronicles: Part 3 - Keily's Little Prince

Well, some of you have guessed that I am currently in the Most Ancient House of Black which is still playing host to the Order of the Phoenix. Now before you start panicking at the thought that I have revealed the headquarters for the Order I will give my explanation. I don't really know how they did it, but the Weasley Twins managed a sort of concealment charm on my latop that connects straight to my blog. So though you--that is, my friends--can easily read what it says about Number Twelve Grimmauld Place, our enemies cannot. So...if any of you want to drop in on me, you know where I am...or do
you? I recall that only the Secret Keeper can reveal the actual location of this place, so you might not be able to find me anyways...But I do suppose it's better that way.

I've barely talked to anyone since I arrived, though I have to say that I've been taking the last week or so rather calmly (although, I must admit that my fear of fire has gone up thanks to Mustafar and a few crackers being let loose at my feet as a welcome from the Twins), especially considering the last few days. Fred and George talk to me when they swing by--which is pretty often despite being savvy businessmen.

"Slow days." They often told me to which I gave a smile at.

Besides not really talking to anyone, I spent the better part of yesterday trying to get William to settle in--what with that blasted portrait of Mrs. Black constantly yelling bloody murder at us--

"HEATHENS! I HAVE BLOOD TRAITORS IN THIS HOUSE! AND A CHILD BORN OF UNSPEAKABLE MEANS! TAKE THAT DIRTY BLOODED THING AWAY FROM THIS PLACE! IT IS--"

--the Twins getting into trouble--

"We didn't mean to send her into shock." said George plaintively.

"Really! We just wanted to scare her with a little harmless fun!" defended Fred.

"How were we supposed to know that she had a bad phobia of fire?"

--the infamous spats between Mrs Weasley and just about everyone else--

"RONALD WEASLEY! YOU TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF OF HERMIONE THIS MINUTE! WE HAVE GUESTS!"

"Mum!"

--and just about everything else that can happen in this crazy house. Harry hadn't arrived just yet, according to what I heard the others whisper. Apparently he had heard news of Death Eater activity and had gone off to check it out along with Professor McGonagall and a few other adults. I smiled a little, at the fact that he was allowed to go along instead of just staying behind and being left in the dark as most tended to do with him. And it had been Harry's decision to save me, too...even though we were virtually strangers and people who didn't agree with one another on many subjects. Mainly pertaining to Severus and Draco.

That was a subject that was pretty touchy with the rest of the Order as well, which was the main reason I didn't bother talking to too many of them or for a long amount of time. I was afraid of creating rifts between us and I didn't want that...especially if I wanted answers later on. Yesterday, I had asked about what was going on many, many, many times, but...no one really wanted to give me any answers and if they did, what they knew was very little. I had to wait until Professor McGonagall returned. Not that I don't trust Harry, but I do have to worry a bit about what he would say to me.

I have to say...I'm lucky that I'm still connected to you all (courtesy of the Twins yet again) and that everyone in the Order isn't holding William's lineage against him.

Speaking of William...I suppose I should continue my chronicles until I get my answers...for I am quite sure that some of you want some for yourself...Like exactly how William came to me...Or in some cases...

...came to be.


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Did you know that there are alternate universes out there? I'm sure some of you know. I am very sure of their existence for the sheer fact that dead people had been popping up when they shouldn't have been at all. Or you know...other various things that should never be mentioned...

The day after I went into my spiralling karaoke depression, I decided that I should try to pretend that everything was going to be fine. Or at least keep myself busy so I didn't have to think about it. I began to start working on a costume for the upcoming anime convention in November. I finished in the record time of four hours full of non-stop sewing. Hoo-rah. [/sarcasm] You can guess that I'm not too enthusiastic at the moment, right?

I decided to take up my old training regime from when I was just a teeny bopper. I dusted off my foils and began doing exercises with them. Back when I was little...about 12 to 14 years old--maybe younger...I started taking fencing lessons. I stopped after I got into a bad accident and my parents panicked. I kept my old foils despite argument from my parents, though I never touched them. Every day for almost five or six years I longed to touch the hilt of the light practice rapiers...

I'm older, slightly wiser and a lot more careful now--with no idiot rivals to try to hurt me. So I do my best to ease back into something I had long abandoned. I kind of stunk though. My speed isn't what it used to be...my grip is terrible and my memory is fuzzy at best about what I had learned.

Still, I was feeling a little better now that I had managed to get some of the anger out of my system. Karaoke and violence are the best medicine for an Asian girl in depression. I was about to go and get myself a cream soda as a treat when I hear the sounds of something hitting the ground behind me (I had decided to practice in the backyard). Turning around I saw a man dressed in a white coat with long brown hair and familiar ice blue eyes behind a pair of glasses. I blinked as his appearance registered in my mind. Once it did, my jaw dropped appropriately.

Many a time have people said that if you worked hard enough...your dreams could come true. Or if your dreams were strong enough, they could become a reality. Well, here Ueru Betsubetsuni standing in front of me...a man who, just yesterday, was just a figment of my imagination...made up as a partner to my fanfic avatar in my own PPC spin-off. I blushed a bright red at how good looking he was and cursed myself for making him so. And then I wondered...what was he doing here? Was he going to try and off me for being such a terrible author? For making his life so miserable that Vader's seemed like a walk in the park (well, that's an exageration, really)?

But then I noticed that he was carrying something in his arms. Curiosity getting the better of me I stepped forward and asked him what he wanted.

"You are Agent Shinra's 'true self', are you not?" he asked, his voice a slightly emotionless and smooth baritone--just as I had imagined it would sound. I understood the question and nodded my head. In the PPC, there are often theories that run through the corridors about how each person there is merely the avatar of someone else--most likely an author. And since I am the author who wrote the spin-off that included Ueru and Shinra, I had to be the true self. It's a little confusing to think at times, but you get the hang of it after a while. "Then do you know the specifics of the mission known as 'Subjugation' and all your duties pertaining to it?" Once again, I nodded, though I had to furrow my brows.

The PPC protects the continuums of many different 'universes' that are inadvertedly invaded by Mary-Sues, typos that become living beings, geographical mistakes and so on--just because they can become as real as the man before me was. They go on many missions to stop things like this from happening and to keep the places safe. As for Subjugation...

Some months ago when I was visiting the PPC Message Board someone had discovered a terrible fanfic called 'Subjugation'. It had nearly everything imaginable in it. Homaphrodites, werewolf sex, pregnancy, a magically dead Voldemort, lots of slash, defamation of character, pedophilia and various other things I could barely name, but the worst part of it all was...an evil Dumbledore. Now folks, I had never been a fan of the guy, but I do know and good and noble character when I see it. And Dumbeldore had been a great man, but the things that the author made him do in this fanfic...

Molestation of students, fathering illigitimate children who were not his by canon, being cruel and manipulative in the worst of senses and...and...

Being William's real father. I had read the whole damned thing through at least three times. Dumbledore rapes a Snape that had been turned homaphrodite and gets him pregnant twice. First with William and then with an unborn second child which was 100% female. Yes, folks...THAT'S the real reason why I didn't want to say anything to Severus. I had just been making up excuses so I didn't have to say the full truth...

At the time, I just thought it all unreal...and that when I signed up to be the children's surrogate mother (though I only ended up with one), I thought it not quite real.....Though I desperately wished it were. Even if I am young and inexperienced, I do want a child, because I know I can never have my own.

And now...here Ueru is...to deliver William to me. I thought I was going to cry when I held him for the first time. Just as the author had described. He was a beautiful baby with a healthy color, already with a head of black hair and the most familiar and gorgeous twinkling blue eyes I had ever seen...And he was my responsibility.

"You do realize that he must never come into contact with his true relatives, don't you?" Ueru asked, looking at me gravely. I returned it with an incredulous look. He had to be kidding. "We think it would be best if he grewup to be a muggle child instead of the Sue-child we suspect him to be..." Sue children are children born from Mary-Sues or from A Mary-Sue author's influence. William as just that. And in accordance to PPC Rules and Regulations...Mary-Sues had to be terminated. I held the child in my arms protectively, worried that Ueru might do something rash. And as his writer I knew he was quite capable of it. He's assassinated more than twenty Mary-Sues and had killed one Sue-child already.

"You can't do that!" I yelled spontaneously, moved by maternal instinct and terrible indignation. "And where's Anna?!" Yes, where was the second child? I said I would adopt both of Severus' children. He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Anna?" he repeated. I blushed. I had said the first name that came to mind that I liked. The second child, being unborn, had no name as of yet, so I decided to name her myself. I explained as much to him. "We decided...that it wold be for the best that they were separated...as to not suddenly rouse memoies of a past they cannot return to..or try to find and remake."

"But...that's not fair. You shouldn't separate family...it isn't right! Look what happened with Luke and Leia!" Oh, god. Luke and Leia. The thought of them made me think of Vader and with that...the current battle against the Emperor and with that I thought about Severus for the first time in that day. And instead of being weepy, I got angry...VERY angry.

It's almost needless to say that I gave Ueru what for in through violence. I won't tell you what I did to him, but I'm sure you all can guess the amount of damage I did to him with the weapons I had on hand. At the same time, I yelled at him about what it was to hide the truth from someone--that they might ruin the person that they are by hiding the truth. I shouted at him that things might turn out alright if I tried hard enough--tried really, really, really hard to make things right that they would be.

And you know what the bastard tells him as I'm heaving and wheezing?

"Tell Severus the truth and we'll see." he said. "Then maybe I can help you find Anna and set things right." And with that, he went back to wherever PPC HQ was located in via portal. I sighed. What the hell did I just do and get myself into?

Things were just happening so fast...and I wondered...

And then William started to cry.

"Oh! Don't cry...Don't cry!" I said, beginning to shush him.

And that was how I ended up with an infant son.

Strange, eh?

The Writer's Note

Well, I took everyone's advice and ran out of my house like a bat out of hell. I gave my family fair warning before I made my abrupt departure. Unfortunately for me, I had a stand-off with Snape before I could get away. I won't go into details, but I'm sure he wasn't pleased to know that I--we--had caught onto him so quickly. I think he--whoever he was--had honestly expected to fool me into thinking he was Severus for quite some time...

You're all probably wondering where I am now. Well...I can't tell you where I am exactly, but I can tell you that I am safe and am surrounded by allies and friends who will keep me safe for the time being. William's alright as well--as healthy as he can ever be, if a little spooked by recent events. Poor thing.

I thank you all for your support. I know that my life is troubling and rather confusing at the moment, but once I've met with...certain people I can get to the bottom of everything. Things are getting rather complicated once again...and I had hped for some peace...

And Megatron...he is NOT my lover. Do I have to give you the 'Severus is old enough to be my uncle' rant?

Something Wicked This Way Comes

First off, I'd like to congratulate Kenya's mother on her upcoming wedding. May your years together be sweet and blissful-- full of happiness and joy!

Secondly, I'd like to tell therandomcat666 that the reports seem to have been false. The Order of the Phoenix checked it out, but they saw no signs of Voldemort or his followers. In fact, they can't seem to find them anywhere...It's almost as if they've disappeared off of the face of the Earth. Normally, that would be a good thing, but in extraordinary cases such as these...You can never be too careful...I've got a bad feeling about this...

Thirdly, Snape came back. Yes, I am referring to him as Snape now. Why? Because I'm not sure the man that came back to me is my Severus. He...doesn't seem it. I get confused when I look at him. A lot of people say it's because I missed him, so it's right to have mixed emotions about him finally being back with me, but I don't think that's it...My mind feels muddled up and a little sluggish...like I had a terrible nightmare on top of staying up all night studying for an exam. This morning, I made eggs and ham breakfast for the two of us as I used to do, tried to pretend that everything was all right. I had to remake it because he said that he wanted croissants and tea. Severus never used to have that combination in the morning. He just had whatever I had and it was always eggs and ham.

He also terrorized my sister, something he had also never done before. And when I defended her he tried to terrorize me, much to my chagrin. If this is the real disposition of Severus Snape, I do not like it one little bit. I know that he might be stressed out due to recent events--especially last night--but he usually kept his rage to himself. The only time I've ever remembered him taking it out on anyone would have been his students at Hogwarts. But he had been living with me and he hadn't raised his voice or a hand to me before. We just co-existed peaceably with a few good spats in between.

But then, he came back later, asking for my forgiveness...asking me in a way that I just had to forgive him.

It's truly bizarre.

People I know, whom I've asked, would say that that was how love typically was. Well, excuse me if I say that Severus and I had never been typical. There had been no confessions (not any real ones, at any rate), no dates, no romance...nothing of the sort really. Just a sudden realization that something had happened between us...

Oh, my. And to think...this all started out yesterday...

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"I have a bad feeling about this."

This is the first thing I say to Narcissa Black Malfoy when she floos in to my part of Canada for the first time. Luckily for her, we decided to have the ceremony at the nice chalet up on Mount Royal--the very same Mount Royal that we have Dumbledore’s (and various other wizards and just recently, Dooku's) Memorial on, so she didn't have to be around too many prying Muggle eyes. Though I went to great lengths to have the entire place reserved just for the group coming in to name William's godparents, I myself am still a mess...due to the fact that I just returned from my terrible 'Snape hunting spree' that had come the day after he told me he left me.

Needless to say that Narcissa didn't like the fact that I looked like a drowned rat in my very soaked and dirtied black coat instead of as the pristine young woman that I was supposed to be in the green dress robes she had insisted that she buy for me for the occasion. That and that she thinks I'm being silly. Draco gave his mother a hug as I began to walk towards the rooms usually reserved for the bride when the chalet was reserved for weddings. I forgot what it was called.

Leaving Draco outside, she helped me get dressed. I had always wondered what the girl's dress robes would be like. Would they be robes with flares? Or would they be dresses? In this case, I think it looks like a very ornate ball gown with a nice long cloak on the outside. Still, I found myself still feeling uneasy about today. Maybe it was just because I missed Severus terribly...or the fact that the corset that she insisted that I wear with the robes to give me a figure was crushing my ribs. Now I know how Elizabeth Swann feels. Ouch.

Still, it wasn't as if I had to randomly run off to fight a war right in the middle of the ceremony, right? I managed to regulate my breathing without seeming too obvious.

"Why the green?" I asked, looking at myself through the floor length mirror in the room.

"It's a Slytherin colour. And it looks better on you than red does." she said in distaste. I kind of have to agree with her. Though red could be considered a national colour, I do look pretty spiffy in green velvet and white lace. The fact that I have a figure now kind of adds to my current state of vanity. Finished with dressing me, she asks me to spin around for her. Satisfied with how the fabric draped and suited me, she gave a satisfied nod. "Now, lets do something with your dreadful hair." After about two hours of trying to tease my chin length hair into ringlets or plain curls, she gives up and just ties some of my hair back with a satin ribbon.

"I like it like this anyways." I said.

"If you like being simple,” she said with a pout. "We could always make your hair grow out with magic." She was about to pull out her wand, but I quickly shook my head no. As much as I would love long hair (and I really would) my family and friends would freak out if it suddenly flowed all the way down to the small of my back just so Narcissa could have her way with it. "Spoil sport."

I looked at myself in the mirror, wondering at the image before me. I've never been beautiful or even remotely pretty (despite what some people would tell me). And I had always hated being called 'cute'. But I can safely say that I clean up pretty good--well, Narcissa can clean me up pretty good. I bet if I had tried putting on the make-up she carefully applied to my face I would have looked like a circus clown. And the robes? I probably wouldn't have fit if she hadn't made me wear the corset...Or I would stretch the material round the waist area. That would not have been a pretty sight.

Then my thoughts strayed to Severus. Would he have approved of all this? What would he think if I had told him that the babe that he had held in his arms so carefully had been his son? How would he react? Would his resolve to leave be stronger? Or would it have weakened? Should I have shouted at him? Screamed? Ranted?

Did he miss me?

I was suddenly hit with that same terrible realization from days ago and I felt like I wanted to cry again. I know I should have told him. Really should have, but you know what? I'm a coward. And all that cowards do is run from their problems. Heh. Good thing I was the fourth fastest runner in my class...

"Oh, Narcissa...What if he never comes back?" I asked worriedly, going over to the door.

Narcissa raises a brow at me. "Severus? Oh, he comes and goes...Does what he pleases..." She walked over to me and put a hand on my shoulder. "But he is a good man. And I think you know that better than anyone. I stayed put when he first ran. You went after him when he disappeared again." She squeezed my shoulder and left the room to join her son, talking to him about his life as of late. I watched them through the crack in the door, gripping the wood in my hands.

As I am about to leave, I hear a crack and sudden wailing. Turning around I find Dobby with William, who was flailing about unhappily. Quickly, I go over to the two and pick up the boy and begin to try to shush him, my thoughts of Severus gone for the moment.

"Dobby is sorry, madam, but Dobby is wanting to wait until former mistress finally left before presenting madam with the young master,” the house elf said about to start punishing himself. I had told him to bring him straight to me from the Weasley's (I had dropped William off there before running off to find his father) at least an hour before the ceremony started and he had run late because Narcissa and I were wrestling with my hair. I pulled the chair away with a free hand before he could hurt himself.

"That's okay, Dobby." I said, grimacing just a bit. I pulled a muscle in my leg. Boy had that chair been heavy! "It's fine. Can you tell Mrs Weasley thank you for taking care of my son. And thank you, too, Dobby!"

"Oh, Dobby is more than happy to help when he can." he said.

"Oh! And tell Harry that I wish him well, too. And don't forget to thank Professor McGonagall!" I had sent invitations to quite a few people and some of them had been from the Order of the Phoenix. Most of them declined because they were too busy or harboured too much of a hatred for Snape--although they did promise never to tell anyone else about little William's lineage. As for why I am thanking Professor McGonagall...well...she promised me twenty-five of the over a hundred house elf population to help with the preparations for the after-ceremony feast.

The house elf nodded his head and disappeared with a crack. Williams cooed quietly and tried to turn to see where the elf had gone off. Curious little thing! I smiled and kissed his chubby cheek, going out to see if anyone had arrived yet. Out front I met up with the guests of honour--Kenya Starflight and Darth Vader, William's future godparents. I talked to both of them for quite a bit, letting both take their turns with the infant. The boy did quite well in either person's arms, though they were virtual strangers to him. But he did have his few mishaps. Sorry about your cape, Lord Vader! I'm sure some soap will get that spit out! And sorry about him trying to pull your hair out, Kenya! I'm sure William will grow to love you both in time! He really is lovable, I swear! After their arrival, the rest came in droves.

It seemed like my invite on Kenya's blog brought in quite a few people from the Terran Resistance war effort. People I didn't expect to come were now there and coming to meet William and I at the entrance, giving their congratulations...and gifts! Since I never had a baby shower for my son (as I wasn't pregnant with him) they decided that it was better late than never...although I had to wonder at some of the gifts I got...Fett, I really appreciate the gift...I really do...But what am I going to do with a blaster rifle? General Grievous! Thanks for the...er...battle droid...I'm sure we'll have a great use for it...Even IF it almost killed me when we tried to operate it. Doctor...I give the air from my lungs in return for yours! V...oohh...that bouquet of roses was sweet! Megatron! You didn't have to go out of your way to get William a mobile! Elladan! Elrohir! Le hanon! The tunics you brought him are adorable! And Han...Leia...shouldn't you be saving these booties for--ahem!

The guests kept flowing in and so did the subsequent gifts that came with them. We had to get a table out to put most of the gifts on because I couldn't juggle them and my son at the same time anymore. And then Maul and Trisha came.

They gave me the last thing I expected to get...or for anyone to give me for that matter.

It was Dooku's lightsaber. Maul had picked it up after the battle on Mustafar as a sort of memento of a great man, but after he found out about how considerably close Dooku and I had been (we were more like tutor and errant third grade kid, rather than master and apprentice...or friends, really...), he decided that I should have it.

"Grievous has four. Another one for you shouldn't hurt,” he said as I accept it. He and I both know that I'll never use it, just out of respect...and for the fact that I could barely use two without hurting myself (having five years of sword fighting experience is one thing, lightsabers are a whole other ballgame).

"Thank you, Darth Maul. Its means a lot to me." I said. He nodded and went inside with Trisha, an arm wrapped around her waist. I stared at them for a while, feeling just a bit jealous as they took a seat with the elf lords and the Malfoys. Wanting to keep the precious gift close, I stuck it into the belt of my dress robes.

More people came and sat. More gifts were given and placed on the gift table until it was around seven, when the ceremony was supposed to begin. Giving the open field before us a look, I turn to go inside with William when a familiar voice stops me.

"Am I late?"

I didn't know whether I should be relieved, angry, indignant or joyous. As I turned to look at Severus (who else would have a voice that almost purred when he talked?), I settled on feeling a little...confused?

He looked like Severus. He moved like Severus...He talked like Severus...

...How come he didn't feel like it? Now I'm not one to say that I am Force sensitive, or that I'm terribly magical or extremely psychic...But! That bad feeling I had earlier was suddenly beginning to surface in the pit of my stomach...

"You'll catch flies if you don't shut your mouth."

.... Or I could just be paranoid. I was being silly. Maybe the second sudden loss of Severus had gotten me paranoid and gave me abandonment issues. Maybe I was afraid that the Severus that was walking towards me was going to rush off into the night again just as he had a few days ago...I was really scared of losing him. And if he was going to disappear on me at midnight...I wanted a piece of him left behind at least, so I could find him!

"Severus..." I said, moving forward as well.

He smiled--rather uncharacteristically. "Dearest..."

--Don't go to him! --

I stopped, blinking...that was odd...and that was really out of character for him. Even if we were friends...even if he was fond of me--hell, even if he loved me he would never call me 'dearest'...even if he meant it in sarcasm...which, at the moment, he wasn't. He reached me and wrapped his arms around me, leaning down so that our noses touched. I thought that my heart was going to burst at the moment, having never been that close to him before. He liked his space and I liked mine. And we had been fine with that. But this...this...

"I missed you..."

I raised my eyebrows at him. "You've only been gone since Friday..."

"And I counted every hour...every minute and second when I was away..."

Aw, hell. Even in normal circumstances...I would have found that weird. Nobody really talks like that! I don't talk like that and I'm as corny as hell! I make puns every other minute--bad ones, mind you! I pushed myself away and he let me go, though I thought I saw a flash of something in his eyes. Was that anger?

Whatever I had seen, there was now a mask of indifference on Severus' face and his eyes displayed a cool and calm look--something more of the Severus I knew. I felt a little bit more relaxed at this. Finally, I thought, some normalcy! He finally took notice of the baby in my arms, picking up one of his chubby hands, but not saying anything to him. But my paranoia wouldn't leave me and Severus was making it quite hard for me to know what to think. I still didn't know whether I should kill him or kiss him, as I had promised to do on Kenya's blog. I suddenly felt the sting of tears in my eyes as I thought about both of his hasty departures.

"So, this is my son..." he said. I sniffled and looked at him quizzically. I never told him about William...and why was he so calm about it? I thought he would have thrown a fit about not knowing he had one...or at least be in denial about it. Where were the fireworks? Where was the rage?

Where's my Severus? I thought to myself.

He looked straight into my eyes and I felt as if I were being read like a book. Shaking my head of the strange feeling, he smiled softly. "I read it on Miss Starflight's blog. You wrote quite a bit about it. It's a shame you haven't found Anna yet, I would have...cherished having a daughter as well as a son..." he told me. He lifted a hand and gently pushed a lock of hair away from my face. It was a tenderness I never remembered him having...a softer side I thought he never possessed. Maybe my assessment of him had been wrong? It would have been so easy to think so...to think he was just a big softy inside...

Too bad I knew he was too sharp to be so.

--Get away from him! --

I shied away from his touch and gave him a shaky smile. Perhaps we could have a conversation later, I thought to myself. At the moment, we had to be inside the hall. I told him this and he nodded, following me inside. A few people gave us looks--some of them approving, while others...not so. Quite a few were looking at the man murderously and it was because they were angry on my account. 'Friends don't let friends get hurt by jerks' mentality and all that. Hopefully, no one was going to kill him for getting me upset...that would have gotten me more upset! Severus took a seat at the guests of honour table where Kenya, Lord Vader, William and I were sitting.

The ceremony had been great though. I had practiced the speech given to me by Narcissa, who said that it was the sort of thing usually said at rites such as these. I talked about the hardships of life, the inevitability of death; of happiness and sadness; sickness and health; triumph and defeat...love and hate. I had been nervous and wanted to throw up a few times, standing there for all to see. I'm sure I messed up a few lines, but if anyone noticed they didn't snicker behind their hands for anything--and I was grateful. I would have run off the stage in a crying fit if that had happened. Dear lord, I hate public speaking.

"...and so, do you Kenya Starflight and Lord Vader, hereby take your duties to heart as if he were your own child...to care for and love till death do you part?" I asked. The both of them gave each other looks, taking a moment to really think about it before answering me.

"I do." they said, almost simultaneously. I smiled.

"Than let it be known that Kenya Starflight and Darth Vader are now legal guardians and god parents to William Albus Snape." I announced to the applause of everyone. I let the two of them go back to their seats and pick up William so we could take our own seats as I notice something. The plates on the tables were quite empty and the baskets full of bread and butter were nearly gone. I wanted to slap myself for almost forgetting. "Oh! Right, then! Thank you all for attending and before we begin the banquet that the house elves of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry worked so hard on, I would like to say a few last words." I grinned as a few people in the crowd began to suspect what was coming, as I made the quote almost word for word. "And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!" I said, giggling as the plates were suddenly piled up with food.

It was smooth partying afterwards and nothing could get me down then. I flitted from table to table, talking to this and that person, making small talk with groups of people at a time with William in my arms, so I didn't really have to be around Severus much (who was starting to give me the creeps because he kept looking at me wherever I went the way a panther stalks prey).

I talked to V for quite some time about the best kind of explosives as well as the best kind of roses of which to use as a signature (he'll always go for his default and my favourite will always be the primrose, thank you very much). The Fetts (Jango showed up late, but he was welcomed nonetheless) showed me how to handle the rifle, 'just in case of emergencies' they said. Jango hogged William for quite a bit of the night and so did Boba. I honestly thought that he would have gotten jealous of William for hogging his father, but Boba held him almost as much as his father did. But since they opted to 'baby-sit for free', I got some time to do a little dancing when the tables had been cleared after dinner. I had the honour of dancing with Erik--the Phantom of the Opera--for a slow dance and a fast one with Axel. I was also stolen away by a few people I didn't recognize for a few other fast ones. And I asked of one from Vader rather shyly--I think my face was beet red when I asked, too.

Finally, after sitting out most of the night and saying and doing nothing, Severus finally came out to take me from Vader for the next dance, which was a slow one. I can safely say that that one dance...had been pretty awkward. Severus had never been much to dance--even when I used to try and coax him into it.

Yet here he was, spinning me as if he had danced his whole life.... as if he knew me so personally!

--Keily! --

I shook my head, feeling it throb a little. I stopped in the middle of the dance, forcing Severus to stop as well. There it was again! And this time, I had truly felt it. Strong and resonating. That bad feeling was coming back amidst the celebrating and rejoicing. I suddenly wanted to get out...to leave with my son without a word. I moved to go and find William--get to Jango or Boba or whoever had him. And then he grabbed my arm, almost with an iron grip. I tried to pull my arm away, but he wouldn't relent. And that was it. I wasn't going to play the weeping flower anymore. I was finally going to give him a piece of my mind!

I looked up and froze. There was anger in his eyes...pure anger and it sent a chill down my spin--gave me a feeling I was almost becoming used to. Fear. For the first time since I met him...Severus was instilling fear into me. And I couldn't look away, even if I tried. At the corner of my eye I could see Jango coming forward with Boba behind him, holding William who had fallen asleep. Severus' grip tightened and he began to pull me close and I snapped out of it. I struggled against him.

"Let go!" I cried. "You're hurting me!" I shouted, as I wondered what was happening at the same time. What was going on? And was this really Severus? Why was he acting like this? I wanted to know!

--Keily! --

"Keily." he whispered coolly, trying to lock eyes with me. Instinctively, I made sure we never made eye contact as I tried to get away from him--as if his very touch was burning my skin. Finally, I was free of him and I managed to get to Boba so I could take William. I was just about to let the man change arms with me so I could bolt--I heard a scream from the main hall doors. All heads turned in the direction of the scream to see a figure we all had thought dead almost a week before. It was more of a rotting corpse if anything else...A pus spewing organ pile sin against God, really, but...

I wanted to throw up. Who in their right mind would use human alchemy to resurrect the Emperor? What had they used in exchange for...this...this...atrocity?

I suddenly remembered the talk people used to have at the sci-fi club about how a clone came to claim the unborn Anakin Solo as his...as the Dark Side's. I remembered how I used to shiver at the thought of how close it had been to Leia...

"Did you think...th...at...you...c...ould...be rid...of...meeeee-eee--eee?" it said as it trudged through the rather shocked crowd.

...how terrible it had been for them all to think that they would lose Anakin to the darkness...

"...Dark...ne....ss is eter...nal..."

...how much he looked like his uncle...his grandfather almost...

"...it i...s e....ver p....re...sent...as the l....ight...is...brilliant..."

.....how he died in the end...so young...

"...I wi...ll...come ba...ck...for...you...all....traitor...ous....sc...."

In a calmness I never had before--with a quick hand that I thought I never possessed--Dooku's lightsaber was in my hand, lit and then--

WHOOSH!

I sighed at the decapitated...thing at my feet. It was twitching still and I'm sure it could bring itself back together just as any of the Homunculi present surely can. We had to find a way to dispose of the thing quickly before it came back stronger than ever. I left it in the capable hands of Gluttony who could eat just about anything--and I do mean anything.

"Well...that killed the moment." I stated as William began to wail. I stared at the ignited lightsaber in my hand. So much for not using it. Then again, if Dooku had been alive and named William's godfather like I had wanted to...he would have probably done the same thing.

"Tragedy seems to follow you everywhere, doesn't it, Keily?" Draco said, a might insensitively, breaking the silence that followed my own statement.

"Draco?"

"Yes?"

"Shut-up."

------------------------------------

The party hadn't picked up after I sliced the homunculus Palaptine's head off. Many had been sickened by its first appearance--never mind when I did what I did. I had retreated to the room I used to dress up in, trying to soothe William and my frayed nerves. First Severus acting weird and then that? Outside my door, Maul and Trisha had taken up being my temporary guards, while the Fetts, Vader and quite a few others were scouring the grounds around the chalet for traces of where the homunculus might have come from. Who knew what could happen. Most of the invitees went home. The devoted, close and beloved stayed behind.

I laid myself on the day bed once William fell asleep again in the stroller that one of the guests got for him. I felt drained of energy...physically and mentally. I was glad for the safety my friends were giving for us, because I was quite sure that I wouldn't be able to defend myself or William in the state I was in. I still had Dooku's lightsaber with me, tucked into my belt in case I needed it again. I was about to close my eyes and drift off to slumber land with my son when Snape more or less barged in, despite protests (and threats) from Trisha and Maul. Too tired to deal with any drama (let alone get up properly) I let him go on with whatever he wanted to say.

He went down on bended knee next to me on the couch, taking one of my hands in his. He looked so pathetic then and I vaguely and sleepily wondered what he wanted. "I'm sorry." he said, his words barely registering in my mind as he looked me in the eye. I felt a lot more sleepier then, my eyelids getting twice as heavy. "I'm sorry that I hurt you...that...that disgusting filth had come in at all...and that I did nothing. Forgive me, Keily." I sort of noted that he said my name as 'Kay-lee', which was the correct way of saying my name...which was odd because he always pronounced it differently...so that it always made me think of him. 'Kah-eh-lee' was how he always said it. It was almost like a cross of my name and 'Kelly' and I always found it endearing more than annoying. A random thing to wonder about, but I was very tired at the time...almost drifting to sleep...

And he looked so sorry--something I rarely ever see in him. I didn't struggle with him as he pulled me close, eyes still locked on each other's.

--Keily! Look away! Get away!--

There it was again. I wonder what's truly going on, but then...I don't feel so bad anymore. Maybe it was just paranoia after all? Being like this around Severus...It's almost like that night again when I fell asleep by his side. I reached up with my arms and wrapped them around his neck. After this I slept for quite a while...